Leukemia, My Huband and Me: A Turbulent Triangle/ Excerpt

Leukemia, My Husband and Me: A Turbulent Triangle

A Memoir by JC Cerrigone

Excerpt

“I’m sorry,” Mike said, reclining back. “I don’t think I can go to Kevin’s party now.”

Kevin’s son Travis was graduating from high school. Kevin and his wife were throwing a party for him on Saturday.

“He’ll understand. We just need to stay home and get you fixed up,” I told him.

“No,” Mike said sharply. “I want you to go. With all that Kevin’s done for us…you need to go, at least for a while.”

“Okay, as long as you’re comfortable with me leaving,” I said.

“I’ll call if I need you. You’ll be close to home.” Mike flinched as I placed bags of frozen vegetables around his body. His skin held the heat of a fiery flame. I stuck a bag of frozen peas between his legs and a bag of lima beans under each arm.

“Jesus,” he hissed. “I’m so damn tired.”

I sat down on the bed, taking Mike's hand. His eyes held mine. Shiny tears pooled in his lower lids.

“I just don’t know, Justine…” His words trailed off. I gripped his hand, needing to hang on.

“Don’t you leave me here,” I whispered. “You gotta fight and stay strong, like you told me.”

“I’m trying, but my body’s had it.” That tormenting silence coated the room, a silence I didn’t want to hear. Mike’s raspy voice came through. “I love you. I know everything’s been so screwed up, but I do love you. You know that, right?”

I nodded. My throat closed off with a tightness I couldn’t swallow away. Mike’s gruff voice pushed through the thick air.

“Don’t you have a hair appointment?”

I nodded again.

“Go…I’ll be fine,” he assured me.

I leaned down and kissed him, his lips dry and cracked. As I left the room my mind spun. The disease had become a raging monster, gnashing at the steel bars of a cage that appeared to be weakening. A white flag of surrender was waving in my peripheral vision. I refused to look at it.

* * *

As I drove to the hair salon, the dark, full-bodied voice of Jim Morrison filled the car. “This is the end, beautiful friend. This is the end, my only friend, the end. The end of our elaborate plans, the end of everything that stands, the end. No safety or surprise, the end. I’ll never look into your eyes again.”

The lyrics absorbed into my body as tears rolled down my face. My husband was going to die, and I knew it.

I surrendered, conceding to the flag’s presence while alone. As stated in one of my favorite films, The Shawshank Redemption, “Hope can be a dangerous thing.” It’s all about taking a chance, a mental game of gambling, that one decides whether or not to believe and take stock in. I had played the hand for almost 16 months, but now it was time to lay my cards on the table, face down. Whatever was meant to happen would happen.

http://www.mikestreeoflife.com

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Release Day for my Memoir

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Release day is tomorrow- 12/26

Leukemia, My Husband, and Me:A Turbulent Triangle
A Memoir

http://www.shop.jkpublishingbooks.com/Leukemia-My-Husband-and-Me-A-Turbulent-Triangle_c443.htm

Leukemia My husband and Me: A Turbulent Triangle-

From fiction to nonfiction- writing about the real deal.

http://www.mikestreeoflife.com

RELEASE DATE TO BE ANNOUNCED. 

Dealing directly with someone who has cancer is a multifaceted learning experience for both the caregiver as well as the one inflicted with the disease. For me, the spouse, it was a driving force in my marriage that drastically altered both the relationship and the routine Mike and I had upheld for years.

Your life becomes the disease, filled with treatments and doctor appointments. It becomes the focal point of everything. You build your life around it, making changes to accommodate it. It’s a living, breathing presence in your life that can wreak havoc.

My husband’s diagnosis brought us together in the beginning, but only for a short time. Then it tore us apart. I’m thankful that we did come full-circle. Mike’s disease did bring us back together in the end, leading us to where we needed to be.

When one is diagnosed with a catastrophic illness it is so important to seek and utilize the many services that are available for spouses, family and friends. I received so much compassionate help and guidance from the array of services and support groups that are readily available. Though my husband refused counseling it assisted in guiding me through the many difficult avenues one must travel when dealing with a seriousdisease. I learned that my way of coping with my husband’s leukemia was to educate myself about it.  Everyone has different coping mechanisms. Some are healthy and some are not.

Effective communication is vital. I’ve seen the results of unspoken words. It’s painful to watch, the regrets, and the guilt, as well as the anger that others have because they were incapable of communicating or taking action. In the end Mike and I didn’t have that burden to carry, and that 

brings me great peace. Time is so precious. Never assume that they’ll always be more of it. I am 

thankful that Mike was able toacknowledge and accept that he was losing his battle with AML. 

Facing that truth and effective communication brought us to where we needed to be before it was too 

late.

Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

Marty stood up and took his mug to the sink. He was eyeing the jars of jam.

“Do I get one?” He smiled, the whites of his eyes pink with fatigue.

“Sure, as soon as they’re sealed.”

“Hey, Allie, are you done here?” He pointed to the aftermath of her culinary project.

“Yup, all done.” She got up to wash the two mugs.

“Come for a ride with me.” He leaned against the threshold. “I have to get some stuff for the house at the hardware store. Wanna tag along?”

“Okay, I’ll get my purse.” She went into the dining room and grabbed her purse off the table. “Where’s Tess?” she asked, attempting another delicate probe into their late evening.

Marty chuckled. A bit of sarcasm laced the tone of his laughter.

 “She’s probably still in bed. I won’t hear from her till at least four o’clock.”

Allie hoped he was right. Yesterday’s episode with the rocking chair was enough. They stepped off the porch and walked over to his black F-150. She hopped in and buckled up. The distinctive, rumbling hum of a diesel engine came to life.

They headed toward town, the heated breeze blowing through the cab. Allie stared out the window at the cows grazing in the fields. Marty’s quick sideward glances pushed through her periphery. At one point Allie turned, and her eyes caught his. Their gaze connected as moments passed in a silence that had her shifting in her seat. 

“So would you call those eyes forest green or moss?” He smiled, linking her eye color to the shades of paint they had used. Allie looked away, feeling the heat that seemed to accompany Marty whenever he was near. “I’m sorry.” He reached for her, patting her shoulder casually. 

“I guess we’ll call them hazel.” She laughed nervously, brushing off the comment.

“You think? They seem pretty green to me.” He looked at her again, the hair on his neck lifting in the breeze. His slow and easy smile had her turning away again. The air in the cab grew heavy. Marty’s earthy smell filled her nose.

“They look blue sometimes if I’m wearing blue,” Allie admitted.

“Mm, I’ll keep that in mind.” He turned down Main Street and pulled up against the curb. He told her he was running into Landisville Hardware, cutting off the engine. 

“I might go into Leah’s Boutique. I’ll just be a minute,” she said, stepping down from the truck.

“Hey, take your time.” 

THE SOUTH WINDOW

 http://www.bookstrand.com/the-south-window

Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day 

Keith placed his hand on his shoulder, tearing him out of his naughty thoughts. “I’m gonna take off, that okay with you?” Keith asked, fussing with his tie.

“Go,” Drake said, lifting a shoulder. “I’m not far behind you. I’ve had about enough.”

Keith gave him a pat on the back and slipped through the French doors. Drake sat down at the bar, watching the suits and skirts mingle. Tokens for Tots was an annual charity Drake ran from the end of October until the New Year. They supplied families in need with medical and dental care as well as other support services so children wouldn’t have to go through the holiday season with no turkey, trimmings, or gifts under the tree.

He was thankful that the Cypress Hill Convention Center allowed him to use the space each year to promote the event. The holidays would be upon them before they knew it. It helped to plant the seeds of giving early before everyone exhausted their holiday budgets.

Drake downed the last drink he would have. It was time to tend to other things he had on his list for this evening. He’d networked and socialized. Now it was his time to enjoy Kelly before she insisted he drop her off in those dismal woods. That was his next focal point, convincing her to pack up her tent and make camp with him.

A hand on his arm sucked him back into the glitzy, crystallized ballroom. Colleen’s eyes pierced his.

“I love her! Absolutely love her.” Her hands cut through the air, enunciating every syllable of her speech. Her fingers tightened around him. “If you let this one go I’ll kick your butt, Drake Larson, and don’t think you’ll be able to fire me for it,” she told him, grinning.

“Thanks, Colleen.” A rush of heat he could no longer contain swept over him.

“See you tomorrow,” Colleen beamed.

Kelly had freed herself from the cluster of women, making her way across the ballroom.

“Down, boy,” Drake whispered to himself. 

The slinky dress clung to her shapely figure, sliding over her skin as she walked. The long slit that ran up her thigh provided him with a strip of flesh that looked as sweet as dripping honey. Her hazel eyes flicked to his, a peculiar smile curving her mocha-painted lips. Her sweet scent settled under his nose. Drake breathed in her fragrance. He was starved. He needed to be fed, and now.

“You have very nice employees,” Kelly said softly, straightening his tie.

“It didn’t take long for you to form a fan club,” Drake said, his observation mocking. “I take it you’ve survived this gig?”

Kelly nodded.

“I did,” she admitted, her words sounding surprised. Drake slipped his hand around her waist. He leaned into her.

“It’s time to devote a little attention to your biggest fan,” Drake murmured, licking the shell of her ear. Her body trembled into his, making him all the more excited.

HOMELESS HEART

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Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

“Allie, where are you? Are you decent? I’m coming up.”

Allie could hear the slap of Tess's bare feet on the stairs. She shoved the magazine, along with the binoculars Tess had forgotten she’d left behind, into the nightstand.

 “Hey, what are you up to?” Tess glided across the floor in a pair of white shorts and a gingham halter. She plopped down in Allie’s wicker bucket chair, draping a shapely leg over the arm.

“Not a whole lot. I’m ahead on my sketches so I did some gardening and reading. What’s new?”

“Has Marty been out?” Her dark eyes rested on Allie.

“I haven’t seen him today. Why?” Allie searched her face, wondering if Tess would tell her about their date. Allie decided to throw her a curve. “How was your dinner date?”

“Why? Did he say anything to you about it?” Tess’s eyes widened.

Allie noted the expression of alarm on her face. Tess was never anxious about anything.

“He mentioned that he was going, but...”
“When?” She ran her hand up and down her brown, shiny leg.

 “He asked me to do some stenciling on one of his pieces, so he just happened to mention it.” Allie shrugged.

“Really. Now isn’t that nice.” Her voice was a bit condescending.

 “It’s not a big deal, Tess.” What sounded like sarcasm came out with a hint of cattiness. “Your next male expedition is safe with me.” Allie gave her a snide look. “I guess I get no scoop on the dinner, huh?” 

Tess looked out the window. A slight frown twisted her curved and pouty lips. “He’s too reserved. I have to work on him some more. I’ll get him.” Tess turned to her and smiled, her pearly teeth catching her lower lip.

“What do you mean? You couldn’t make the sack on the first night?” Allie felt bold today. Maybe part of her was sticking up for Marty.

“Be careful, Allie.” Tess’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh, come on, cut the guy some slack. Reserved or not, I call it respect.”

“Respect’s no fun.” Tess jumped off the chair. “Let’s go to my place, grab a snack, and take a swim.” She stood in the threshold, her fingers threading through her hair.

“Let me get my suit.”

THE SOUTH WINDOW

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Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

“Thanks for the pizza.”

“You made it.” Mia playfully slugged him. “I just wanted to thank you for the other night.” Her voice softened. “Plus, it was a good excuse, you know, to see you.” Her admission was hesitant.

“I can teach you how to defend yourself, though I enjoyed doing it for you.” Drew laughed, recalling the events of the previous evening. “You’re capable of fighting off animals just like those punks.” Her brows rose. Drew smiled, reaching for his mug.

“I don’t think so.” Mia cradled her mug, not sounding convinced.

“Sure you could.” He shifted his body on the couch, facing her. “It’s all about the technique. You should never underestimate your opponent, but despite your size or gender...with the right training, you could level a guy just like the one I dealt with.”

Mia glanced away, her forehead creasing in thought. This was a way he could get closer and spend more time with her. He could take her to the gym and coach her, be with her. Then the focus wouldn’t be just on the dating and sex thing. He waited, allowing her to process his offer. It would make life so much easier. It would buy him more time, so he could ease into it, leading up to the other stuff. It’d been ages since he’d done the relationship gig. Drew encouraged her.

“Come on.” He put his mug down and nudged her back, comfortable with the bantering. “It’ll be fun. I’ll go easy on you. You’ll do great. In fact...you’ll be perfect.” Her lovely eyes flicked back to him. Those sensual lips curved. She was so enticing. His ears filled with white noise.

“Okay.” She extended her hand, wanting to shake on it. “You’ll go easy?”

“I’ll be gentle, I promise,” Drew assured her.“No wussy, sissy comments?” Her eyes narrowed.“No way.” Drew shook his head. “I’ll toughen you up, but would never think of removing any of your softness.” He swallowed, his voice thick. She liked his words, her face smoothing as they sealed the deal. 

“Thanks, Drew, that’s so sweet.” Her smile warm. Drew shifted his weight on the couch, his thigh brushing against hers. He reached for his coffee, gulping down the hot liquid into his already ignited insides. It was time for him to go. He’d use his father as an excuse.

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JC Szot- Author

Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

The days were getting longer, the sun still lingering in the sky. She guessed Josh would take her for their ride first before it got dark. Her boots stomped up the front porch. AC/DC’s “Back in Black” was pounding through the dark, glossy door. A wreath of dried berries and pinecones hung on the front door, remnants of a forgotten Christmas decoration. She opened the screen door and tapped the brass knocker.

“Hey, Toni, come on in.” She had expected to see Josh, but Cole held the door for her. She slipped through, feeling the heat of him drift over her. She felt her cheeks warm, avoiding his bare chest, but, sensing his eyes on her, tried to wipe the uncertainty off her face.

“How are you?” She had to tip her head to make eye contact, his frame a head taller than hers. He dragged his hand over his scruffy, shadowed jaw. 

“Not too bad. Are you ready for your tour?” He chuckled, his tone hoarse. “Your guide is waiting for you.” Cole jutted his chin, motioning to Josh, who was walking across the open living room, pulling a sweatshirt over his head, his steps full of purpose.

Her eyes didn’t seem to want to rest on either man, so she took in their living space. The ceiling was high and vaulted. An immense fieldstone fireplace took up the entire back wall, the mantel a sturdy granite gray. On either side, high on the wall, were two eight-pointer deer mounts, their eyes large and glassy. Above the taxidermy was a railing. There was a small loft above. A large, rather contemporary sectional wrapped around the other half of the room. The floorboards were wheat- colored with a glaring sheen. Toni stood on the oval, blue braided rug, waiting.

“You better put this on, Toni.” Josh handed her a black sweatshirt. “It gets a little windy while you’re riding.” Josh gestured her toward the door she had just come through. “Make sure the food is heated by the time we get back,” Josh reminded Cole.

Toni glanced over her shoulder, Cole’s facial expression unreadable.

BRAIDED DESIRE

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Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

“Good.” He grinned. “He’s in there working,” he whispered. Seth took her hand and opened the door. They walked through the threshold, casting a bar of bright light across the shiny floorboards. Mattie took in Bobby from across the bar. He was sort of a petite guy. He was sliding wine glasses into a slatted rack above. He turned, meeting their presence from across the tavern. His eyes sprang open, his mouth dropping. Glass popped, shattering as it hit the floor.
“What the hell!” Bobby tossed a white towel down on the bar and raced around to the front, the soles of his feet crunching on the granules of glass. His smile stretched, his eyes gleaming. Mattie laughed, squeezing Seth’s hand. Seth was adjacent to her, but Mattie wasn’t sure if Bobby could see her yet through all of his excitement. He ran to them, his steps slowing when Bobby’s eyes connected with hers, Bobby now fully aware of her presence. He stopped, gawking at them, now unsure of what to do. “Jesus,” Bobby hissed, his laughter sounding a bit reserved, though Mattie knew nothing about him.
“Well?” Seth laughed. “Aren’t you glad to see me—us?” Seth added hastily. He dropped Mattie’s hand and opened his arms.
“Fuck yeah!” Bobby fell into Seth’s embrace. His eyes closed, rolling beneath their lids. Seth rocked him back and forth. Mattie noticed Bobby’s hands wandering, sliding down Seth’s back, resting at the top of his ass. Mattie stepped back. Her heart rose into her throat. Bobby pulled away. Brilliant green eyes dropped to Seth’s lips. Mattie was tailgating his roving gaze. Something was peculiar. She  felt the emotional angst. It was swarming around Seth and Bobby like a hurricane.

Awkwardness settled in her gut. It looked as if Bobby was having trouble keeping his elation reeled in. If she wasn’t standing here with them now, how would he have welcomed Seth? Seth turned, making room for her. Bobby was right on cue. Perhaps he had seen her.
“Bobby, this is Mattie Richards.”
“Mattie.” Bobby’s voice carried through the empty tavern, its tone almost musical. “I’m so glad you could make the trip.” He took both of her hands and lifted them to his lips. Bobby kissed the tops of all ten of her fingers. His olive eyes held hers, his gaze a bit too intimate for a first introduction. 

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Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

“Hey, stranger.” Dale smiled faintly, her body and mind a complex mess.

“Well, well, well.” Kate chuckled, hand on hip. “Look who it is.” Kate tossed an empty box behind her. “I was beginning to think one of your patients abducted you.”

Dale slowly nodded her head. “If it were only that simple.” Dale rubbed her forehead, feeling the early pulsations of a headache.

Kate’s lips parted, and her body stilled. “What’s up?” She took Dale’s arm and guided her over to a nearby milk crate. Kate sat down on a box. “Spill. You don’t look so good.”

“Well...you remember that storm we had about a month ago?” 

"Yeah.” Kate waved a hand through the air. “So, what about it?” 

“There was this guy. I found him in the woods, and...” Dale’s words were jumbled. As soon as they spilled from her mouth, even she knew it sounded kooky.

Kate reached for her, jostling her arm. “Wait a minute, slow down. You found a guy.” Her face was lined with confusion. Dale took a breath. “Slow it down, Dale, because you’re losing me here.” Her tone was clipped.

“Okay.” Dale buried her head in her hands for a minute. She looked up at Kate, her words accented with each syllable. “I was riding the morning after the storm and found this guy. He was out cold, in the snow. He was pretty banged up. His car had broken down out on Route 15.”

“Okay, that’s better.” Kate leaned into the conversation. “So what happened? Is he okay?”

“Well...he’s been staying at my place, and he’s still there.” Dale chuckled, avoiding Kate’s pressing stare.

“Oh, really.” Kate grinned. “Tell me all about him.” Her brow arched.

Dale expelled a hissing breath. “He’s been doing some work around the house for me. He’s been a big help, really, but when I went to go look for his car after I took him in, Ray had already towed it.”

“What’s his name?” Kate’s lips curled into a naughty smirk.
“Neil Regal.” Dale checked her expression, waiting.
“Yeah, okay...his name’s Neil...”
“Does that name mean anything to you?” Dale asked, holding her breath. 

THE UNVEILING

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JC Szot- Author

Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

“This one’s first.” He handed her a box wrapped in silver paper with a bright red bow. Jake set the other box next to her. “By the way, you look beautiful.” He placed his hand over hers, rubbing her soft fingers.

“Thank you.” Sara fingered the paper, tearing the package open. She held up the pair of thick light gray socks with a soft fleece hat to match. Shapely brows knitted above her eyes, holding the two packages of hand and feet warmers. Jake had also gotten her a scarf and a stainless steel thermos, hoping she’d be agreeable to the jaunt he had planned.

“These are great.” She rubbed the pile of soft fabric against her face.

“Wait.” Jake got up and stepped down into the kitchen, retrieving the backpack. Jake set the pack down in her lap. Her eyes gleamed, holding tiny glares of light that radiated off the Christmas tree. “This is the star of the show.” He laughed, her face a mixture of expressions.

“This is fantastic.” She turned to him, canting her head. “Are we going somewhere?”

“You said you had the week off, so I took a few days off myself.” He smiled, reaching for her, running his fingers through the satiny strands of her loose hair, resting his elbow on the back of the couch. “We are going winter camping,” he announced.

Her eyes flew open. “Winter camping?”

“That’s right. We’ve got all the gear. Are you game?”

He watched her face process his request. Her words were hesitant. “I like to camp, but it seems so much more appealing on a hot,

steamy July night.” She turned the pack on its side, zipping open all the compartments.

“Where’re we going?” she asked. 

 “Point Mountain.”

“I hope I don’t slow you down on the trail.” She glanced back at him, her tone unsure. “I’ve never camped in those kinds of conditions.”

Jake slid closer to her on the couch, stroking his fingers over her arm. “You’ll do fine. You’re tough, in great shape, too.” He waggled his brows.

“It’s the cold I’m worried about.” Her smile faded.

His eyes lowered to her lips. He steered her chin, kissing her lightly and slowly, her sweetness seeping into him. His stomach fell to his feet, his heart rate soaring. Sara did things to him that he couldn’t put into words. It was unfamiliar yet thrilling, laced with a hint of fear, a fear that grew a bit more intense every time he saw her, every time his body possessed hers. He kept his thoughts on the surface. He refused to allow them to sink in too deep. He didn’t want to spoil these next few days being preoccupied with all the crap that often raged inside his head when he wasn’t with her.

“I’ll make sure you’re warm. We’ll have all the necessary gear. Please come.”

“Okay.” She leaned into him, her lips grazing his cheek. “I’ll do my best.”

Jake had her stand up and try on the backpack, adjusting all the belts and straps to fit her.

“When are we going?” Sara shifted her pack, glancing back at him.

“I’ve been watching the weather, and I think Christmas Day is our best bet. It’s supposed to be a high of twenty-nine and a low of fifteen.”

“Jesus, Jake, don’t tell me that.” She laughed. “It’ll work on me like a placebo.” Sara set the pack down and crawled under the tree, retrieving his gifts. 

OPEN SPACES- PARA/NORMAL 

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JC Szot- Author

Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

“This one’s first.” He handed her a box wrapped in silver paper with a bright red bow. Jake set the other box next to her. “By the way, you look beautiful.” He placed his hand over hers, rubbing her soft fingers.

“Thank you.” Sara fingered the paper, tearing the package open. She held up the pair of thick light gray socks with a soft fleece hat to match. Shapely brows knitted above her eyes, holding the two packages of hand and feet warmers. Jake had also gotten her a scarf and a stainless steel thermos, hoping she’d be agreeable to the jaunt he had planned.

“These are great.” She rubbed the pile of soft fabric against her face.

“Wait.” Jake got up and stepped down into the kitchen, retrieving the backpack. Jake set the pack down in her lap. Her eyes gleamed, holding tiny glares of light that radiated off the Christmas tree. “This is the star of the show.” He laughed, her face a mixture of expressions.

“This is fantastic.” She turned to him, canting her head. “Are we going somewhere?”

“You said you had the week off, so I took a few days off myself.” He smiled, reaching for her, running his fingers through the satiny strands of her loose hair, resting his elbow on the back of the couch. “We are going winter camping,” he announced.

Her eyes flew open. “Winter camping?”

“That’s right. We’ve got all the gear. Are you game?”

He watched her face process his request. Her words were hesitant. “I like to camp, but it seems so much more appealing on a hot,

steamy July night.” She turned the pack on its side, zipping open all the compartments.

“Where’re we going?” she asked. 

 “Point Mountain.”

“I hope I don’t slow you down on the trail.” She glanced back at him, her tone unsure. “I’ve never camped in those kinds of conditions.”

Jake slid closer to her on the couch, stroking his fingers over her arm. “You’ll do fine. You’re tough, in great shape, too.” He waggled his brows.

“It’s the cold I’m worried about.” Her smile faded.

His eyes lowered to her lips. He steered her chin, kissing her lightly and slowly, her sweetness seeping into him. His stomach fell to his feet, his heart rate soaring. Sara did things to him that he couldn’t put into words. It was unfamiliar yet thrilling, laced with a hint of fear, a fear that grew a bit more intense every time he saw her, every time his body possessed hers. He kept his thoughts on the surface. He refused to allow them to sink in too deep. He didn’t want to spoil these next few days being preoccupied with all the crap that often raged inside his head when he wasn’t with her.

“I’ll make sure you’re warm. We’ll have all the necessary gear. Please come.”

“Okay.” She leaned into him, her lips grazing his cheek. “I’ll do my best.”

Jake had her stand up and try on the backpack, adjusting all the belts and straps to fit her.

“When are we going?” Sara shifted her pack, glancing back at him.

“I’ve been watching the weather, and I think Christmas Day is our best bet. It’s supposed to be a high of twenty-nine and a low of fifteen.”

“Jesus, Jake, don’t tell me that.” She laughed. “It’ll work on me like a placebo.” Sara set the pack down and crawled under the tree, retrieving his gifts. 

OPEN SPACES- PARA/NORMAL 

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JC Szot- Author

Snippet of the Day

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Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

“You’re sure this color’s okay?” Noah asked. Ben’s eyes roved over the walls they’d painted a few days ago. Noah tipped his beer back. His Adam’s apple rolled beneath the skin of his throat as he drank the chilled beverage. Noah used the cold bottle to wipe off his forehead. 
 “I like it. Why, think the mustard walls’ transitioning into a red kitchen is too much?” Ben asked. His gaze moved from the living room into the kitchen. Ben always wanted red in a common area. His secretary had given him the idea, telling him that red was really “in” now.

“Nah, I like it...I mean, who am I to say. I spent half my life surrounded by gray concrete.” Noah frowned. “I’m heading up to shower. I say by next weekend, if you want to have your lady over, we’ll be good to go,” Noah told him. He grabbed his shirt off the workhorse and left the room, climbing the stairs to his bedroom.
“She’s not my lady,” Ben grumbled, sighing. Ben shook his head and went to go sit in the kitchen. He settled in at the island and drank his beer, taking in the red walls. He liked what they’d done to the place. The walls were accented with dark molding. The ivory granite counters and stainless steel appliances lightened up the room. He heard the shower turn on upstairs.
Would Noah ever let go of his childhood nightmare? A day didn’t pass that Noah didn’t allude to something that related to his life back at the Pine Acres Juvenile Detention Center. Ben would never forget the day he met Noah. To this day he still hoped that after seven years, some of those horrible memories for Noah would diminish.
REARVIEW MIRROR
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Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

“That’s a good idea, keeping all your stuff in the car like that.” Sara adjusted the hat, pulling it over her ears.
“Hey, you never know when you might want to go on an excursion. Sometimes the mood just hits me. When it does, at least I know I can dress accordingly.” Jake slammed the trunk, taking her jacket and laying it across the backseat. “It’s all about having the right gear. I want to show you something.” He took her hand, leading them up the street about a quarter of a mile. They turned off and started to trek into the woods, their warm breaths rising into the cold night air. They were on a wide, flat, well-groomed path. “Did you know this was here?”
“No. Where are we?” Sara’s eyes strained to see through the thick darkness. Jake stopped to face her. Sara tried to see his eyes, but their darkness blended in with the black surroundings.
“This used to be an old railroad line that carried freight. They ripped up the line about five years ago. This is a great place to cross- country ski.” He gave her gloved fingers a squeeze. “What do you think?”
“It’s perfect.” The path was nice and straight.
“It is. Now all we need is about four inches of snow.”
Sara snuck a sideward glance at him. Jake turned to look at her, their eyes locking. He squeezed her hand, leaving her gaze to look off into the thickly treed woods. Sara could vaguely see a maze of bare, arching branches. She felt Jake’s thumb stroke over the palm of her gloved hand as their feet trampled over the cold, packed dirt and residual fallen leaves. Sara took a breath. The scent of Christmas was all around. The fresh smell of pine opened her nose.

“Hey, thanks for doing the holiday thing with me,” Jake said softly, his face dipping down to converse.
“Thanks for asking me.” Sara faced him as they walked, hoping the evening wasn’t coming to a close.
“I hope I didn’t take you away from your family.” His voice was raspy from the chilled air. 
“My mother wound up having to work.”
“And where’s that?”
“She works for the Bridge Commission. She’s a toll collector.”
 “Oh, well, then she probably does a lot of holidays.” His arm fell away as they strolled back into the street. Jake gestured for Sara to take the inside of the shoulder.
“Yeah, the holidays pay well. I’m used to it. What about your family?” Sara asked. There was a lull of silence, the road vacant. She slowed her pace, trying to read his expression.
“I don’t see my father anymore. My mother died of breast cancer fourteen years ago.”
“I’m sorry. God...you must’ve been young.” She treaded carefully between wanting to know more and being nosy. She’d dealt with a lot at a young age. How different things would’ve been if her grandparents had lived and her father had stayed.
“I was thirteen.” His eyes looked straight ahead. “It’s just one of those things.” He took her hand again.
“I never knew my father,” Sara admitted. “He split before I was born.”
“Yeah, well...mine is an asshole, so I don’t know which is worse.” He glanced at her, his face set. Sara didn’t press him any further. She wanted to lift him up, not pull him down.
Jake walked her up the stairs to her apartment.  They stood on the small landing, leaning against the railing, gazing into the twinkling night sky. 
 “That’s where I found my cat.” Sara pointed to the dumpster.

“She’s a lucky girl. Now she doesn’t have to spend all winter outside. She gets to snuggle up with you.” Jake turned to face her, his lips curved. “That’s what I’d like to do.” He moved closer, his breaths white puffs of smoke.
OPEN SPACES
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Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day

They had dinner out back, the three of them. Marty asked Dan a lot of questions about his profession. It was easier to keep the focus on Dan. Marty kept things flowing, not allowing for any uncomfortable silences or a shift in conversation. A safe place, not having to choose between lies and the truth.
The darker it became, the more of a visual thief Marty became, the dim glow of the citronella candles aiding him. He peeled the layers of Allie away, looking below the ones for show. Dan excused himself, going into the house. Marty’s lungs pulled in a rush of air, welcoming the breather. He waited for Dan to shut the glass door, having put on the central air earlier.
“How dare you torment me with that dress,” he mumbled, grinding his teeth. Just talking about it had his flesh flaming. 
“I didn’t mean to,” Allie whispered.
Marty gave her a savage look. “Wait until he’s gone. You’re in big trouble.”
The door slid open and Dan emerged through the darkness, carrying another tray with pie and coffee.
“So where’s our friend Tess these days?” Dan set the tray down, his glance moving between them.
Marty shook his head. Tess was the last thing he wanted to talk about. The mere mention of her had the food curdling in his gut.
“I guess it didn’t take long for you to get acquainted with our crazy neighbor, huh, Marty?” Dan laughed. 
“She has a lot of friends in Readington now,” Allie added. Her eyes flickered at his over the rim of her mug. Marty sipped his coffee, not trusting his words due to the level of liquor in his blood.

“No kidding, mm.” Dan started hacking away at his pie. 
THE SOUTH WINDOW
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Snippet of the Day

Snippet of the Day 

Fern swayed, leaning into the wall to regain her balance as the boxcar moved down the tracks. The woodsy smell of cedar and something sweetened settled in her nose as she turned and sat down on what looked to be sacks of animal feed. Seeing the horseshoe emblem on the burlap confirmed it was most likely horse grain.
She reached for her knapsack, resting it between her knees. Fern settled back and watched the town of Easton, Pennsylvania recede behind her. She knew this freight train went into New Jersey, but wasn’t sure where she should get off.
The sun began to slip down the horizon, leaving a path of warm pinks and smoky violets in its wake. The remains of the day’s heat warmed her face as she reclined her back into the feedbags. Summer was just beginning, and now her life was rocking back and forth as if on a raft in turbulent waters. I fucking feel like Tom Sawyer.
It’d been a Memorial Day picnic at a co-worker’s house. Another embarrassing incident where Johnny had had too much to drink and allowed his paranoia to ruin what had started as the perfect kick-off to summer.
He’d accused one of the bouncers whom Fern worked with at the Turnstile of lusting after her. It was always so humiliating to have to calm Johnny down and then rush to explain his demented ways to her friends or acquaintances. She’d always made excuses for him, which never failed to enrage Jada.
Fern tipped her head back, feeling the vibration of the moving train run throughout her body. She lowered her eyes against the glaring rays of the sun, drinking in its warmth. Thoughts began to run rampant.
She’d need a job, a place to live. With no car, she’d have to set things up so she could manage on foot, until she got on her feet financially. She never needed a car in Easton, always able to use public transit. Thinking of all those things that cost money had her hand dipping inside her satchel, riffling through its contents to find the roll of cash Jada had given her. Fern pulled out the neatly banded roll. She ran her fingertip over the corners of the bills, guessing she had about five or six hundred dollars.
The train rolled on, clanking through a tunnel of wooded areas and groves. Two boys on their bikes, with fishing rods resting on their  shoulders, stood on the side of the tracks. When one of them noticed her, he pointed, his friend looking on, their faces perplexed. Fern lifted her finger to her lips, smiling. She pulled out her cell phone, checking the time. She’d been on the train for a little over two hours. When the cars began to slow she sat up, her senses sharpening. Fern slung her satchel and knapsack over her shoulder and stood. She made her way to the end of the car, peering outside, gripping the edge of the car as it swayed.

The air had cooled, the days now longer. Fern directed her gaze toward her surroundings as the Jake Brake of the train hissed and squeaked, slowing to a stop.
It looked to be a lumberyard. Stacks of wood sat on pallets, lining the edges of a large, fenced-in area. This was it. She’d have to get off here. She looked down at the feedbags, unsure if they were being unloaded. The train whined one last time before coming to a complete halt.
Several workers moved about the yard, loading planks of lumber onto carts. Fern looked both ways and hopped out, darting up the track, looking for an opening beyond the fenced-in yard.
The sweet smell of sap and sawdust swirled around her as she eased into a jog. A shrilling whistle rang in her ears. Her chest tightened with alarm.
“Hey, you!” a gruff voice called out to her. Fern felt her body go stiff. She broke into a sprint, her breaths heaving. He yelled to her again, but Fern kept going, not daring to look back.
As the brush and tree line grew thinner, she downshifted her efforts into a slow, steady jog. Her eyes locked in on a small convenience store. Her legs burned with exertion. Fern ducked into the weeds. Thickets and thorns scraped over her skin, stinging her flesh.
“Shit,” she gasped. Fern directed her steps and headed right to the side of the building, the restroom sign welcoming her.
HOTTER HORIZONS
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