Thursday, December 19, 2013

From fiction to nonfiction- writing about the real deal.

Dealing directly with someone who has cancer is a multifaceted learning experience for both the caregiver as well as the one inflicted with the disease. For me, the spouse, it was a driving force in my marriage that drastically altered both the relationship and the routine Mike and I had upheld for years.
Your life becomes the disease, filled with treatments and doctor appointments. It becomes the focal point of everything. You build your life around it, making changes to accommodate it. Its a living, breathing presence in your life that can wreak havoc.
My husbands diagnosis brought us together in the beginning, but only for a short time. Then it tore us apart. Im thankful that we did come full-circle. Mike’s disease did bring us back together in the end, leading us to where we needed to be.
When one is diagnosed with a catastrophic illness it is so important to seek and utilize the many services that are available for spouses, family and friends. I received so much compassionate help and guidance from the array of services and support groups that are readily available. Though my husband refused counseling it assisted in guiding me through the many difficult avenues one must travel when dealing with a seriousdiseaseI learned that my way of coping with my husband’s leukemia was to educate myself about it.  Everyone has different coping mechanisms. Some are healthy and some are not.
Effective communication is vital. I’ve seen the results of unspoken words. It’s painful to watch, the regrets, and the guilt, as well as the anger that others have because they were incapable of communicating or taking action. In the end Mike and I didn’t have that burden to carry, and that 
brings me great peace. Time is so precious. Never assume that they’ll always be more of it. I am 
thankful that Mike was able toacknowledge and accept that he was losing his battle with AML. 
Facing that truth and effective communication brought us to where we needed to be before it was too 


  1. JC, I cannot wait to read your story about your time with your husband. Caring for a loved one is a very difficult and personal journey. My mom had Leukemia as well and I remember graduating from college and moving home to help take care of her. I wouldn't change a thing at this point except that I would love if she never went through it at all. I did a lot of growing during that time and it was the most difficult at times too. Can't wait to see you journey! Thanks for sharing it with us!

  2. Thank you, Karen. I too, did a lot of growing during my husband's illness. I believe these are lessons that we can use to 'pay it forward' and help others. That is my mission. What causes pain can indeed be used as a tool to help others. Thanks for dropping in to comment. The book will be released on 12/26, as I just received word yesterday. Have a wonderful Holiday Season.